How We Learn to Survive And How We Learn to Heal: A Therapist’s Reflection

Content note: This reflection briefly references childhood punishment and emotional experiences. It is shared in a professional and educational context.

On the "hot seat" as we call it - experimenting with Brain Switch 2.0

From moment to moment, we are all making meaning of our world.

Our nervous system is constantly interpreting what is happening around us and within us asking quiet questions like: Am I safe? Do I belong? How do I protect myself? In response, we sometimes form internal vows, beliefs, and patterns often in an attempt to find peace, restore safety, or make sense of rupture.

Sometimes these adaptations help. Sometimes they don’t. And when they stop working, many of us turn inward with frustration, self-blame, shame, or a deep sense of helplessness.

Looking back, I can see how many of my own patterns were attempts to soothe an overwhelmed nervous system shaped by the resources, awareness, and capacity I had at the time. Some ways of coping brought temporary relief; others carried their own cost. For a long time, shame lived quietly alongside those adaptations.

It wasn’t until I entered my own therapeutic work that I could gently unpack what had been too much to hold earlier in life, fear, sorrow, grief, and unmet needs that had never been given space to be held/witnessed. Therapy allowed me to grieve what I could not grieve when I was younger, and to meet those younger parts of myself with compassion rather than judgment.

What I learned along the way is this: There is no single modality that fits every person or every part of us.

At different points in my life, different approaches supported different parts of me - Schema Therapy, Chairwork, EFT tapping, EMDR, and more recently, Brain Switch 2.0. Each offered something specific: safety, structure, emotional processing, meaning-making, or integration.

As we age, we don’t just accumulate wisdom we also accumulate memories. Some carry outdated beliefs that quietly shape how we see ourselves and the world. Working with parts of the self, especially through Chairwork, helped me understand how certain protective strategies were born including the instinct to become smaller, quieter, and less visible in moments of perceived threat. Seen through a trauma-informed lens, these were not flaws, they were intelligent adaptations.

What intrigued me about Brain Switch 2.0 was its invitation to engage the brain in a more creative, playful, and non-threatening way, allowing old memories to be revisited and re-linked with healthier meanings and beliefs. This process aligns with what neuroscience calls memory reconsolidation: the brain’s ability to update emotional learning when safety is present (Ecker, Ticic, & Hulley, 2012). In practice, I noticed something subtle but powerful a softening of the body, spontaneous yawns, a sense of settling. As the nervous system shifted toward a rest-and-digest state, clarity returned. Thinking became easier. Insight followed regulation.

Neuroscience consistently shows us that when the nervous system is regulated, the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for reflection, decision-making, and perspective, comes back online. Healing doesn’t happen through force; it happens through safety. This understanding is supported by research on autonomic nervous system regulation and the role of safety in emotional processing (Porges, 2011).

While some tools can be practised independently for smaller challenges, deeper work often benefits from being held within a therapeutic relationship where trust, attunement, and containment allow the nervous system to relax enough to change. Trauma research continues to highlight how healing often involves working through both cognitive and body-based pathways, rather than insight alone (van der Kolk, 2014).

This is why I continue to normalise therapy, not as a sign of brokenness, but as a courageous act of self-repair and self-understanding. We are not trying to erase the past; we are learning how to integrate it, reclaiming safety, agency, and strength that may have been fragmented along the way.

Healing is not linear. And we are never “finished.”

But with the right support, at the right time, meaningful change is possible.

References

Ecker, B., Ticic, R., & Hulley, L. (2012). Unlocking the Emotional Brain.Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory.van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.