Burnout: When Being Strong for Too Long Starts to Hurt

I've been asked a few times:"How do I know if I'm burnt out? I am not motivated, I procrastinate and I am tired most of the time”. It's a question I've heard many times over the years.  In fact, many people experiencing burnout don't realise it at first. They assume they need to work harder, become more disciplined, take a holiday, or simply "get over it."  But burnout is rarely about a lack of motivation. More often, it is the result of carrying too much for too long.

What is Burnout?

The World Health Organization describes burnout as a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. In simple terms, burnout occurs when the demands placed upon us consistently exceed our emotional, mental, and physical resources. It doesn't happen overnight. It develops gradually. At first, we push through. Then we survive.  Eventually, even small tasks begin to feel overwhelming.

What Burnout Can Look Like

Burnout does not always look dramatic. Many people continue functioning remarkably well on the outside. They go to work, attend meetings, take care of their families, smile and say they are "fine." Yet inside, they may be experiencing:

• Constant fatigue despite getting enough sleep

• Difficulty concentrating or remembering things

• Increased irritability or frustration

• Emotional numbness

• Anxiety or Dread about work

• Feeling detached from people or activities they once enjoyed

• A sense of dread when checking emails or messages

• Physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, or disrupted sleep

Sometimes the body notices the strain before the mind does.

Why Does Burnout Happen?

There is rarely one single cause. Burnout often develops through the accumulation of multiple stressors over time. Common contributors include:

• Excessive workloads

• Lack of control or autonomy

• Unrealistic expectations

• Poor boundaries between work and personal life

• Caregiving responsibilities

• Financial pressures

• Perfectionism

• People-pleasing tendencies

• Feeling unsupported or unappreciated

For some individuals, unresolved childhood experiences may also play a role. If we learned early in life that our worth came from achievement, performance, or caring for others, we may find ourselves constantly striving, even when our bodies are asking us to slow down.

Burnout and Imposter Syndrome

One of the lesser-known effects of burnout is how it can amplify self-doubt.  Many people begin to question their abilities and competence when they are exhausted. Thoughts such as:

• "Everyone else seems to be coping."

• "Maybe I'm not good enough."

• "I'm falling behind."

• "Someone is going to realise I don't know what I'm doing."

These thoughts can resemble imposter syndrome.  Interestingly, the problem may not be a lack of capability. The problem may simply be that the nervous system is depleted. When we are exhausted, our inner critic often becomes much louder.

A Few Gentle Ways to Support Yourself

Recovery from burnout is rarely achieved through a single holiday or weekend off. More often, it begins with small, consistent acts of care.

1. Check in with your energy, not just your schedule

Instead of asking, "What do I need to get done today?"

Try asking,"What capacity do I realistically have today?"

There is wisdom in working with our energy rather than constantly fighting against it.

2. Notice what drains you and what nourishes you

Take a moment to list:

What drains me?

What nourishes me?

Often, burnout recovery involves reducing unnecessary drains while intentionally increasing moments of nourishment.

3. Build small moments of recovery into your day

Five minutes of sunlight.

A short walk.

A few slow breaths.

Listening to music.

Stepping away from a screen.

Small moments matter more than we often realise.

4. Practise speaking to yourself differently

Notice if your inner dialogue sounds like:

"Why can't I cope?"

"What is wrong with me?"

Consider replacing it with:

"I've been carrying a lot."

"No wonder I'm tired."

Compassion supports recovery far more effectively than criticism.

5. Reach out for support

Burnout often encourages isolation. Talking to a trusted friend, mentor, supervisor, or therapist can help create perspective and remind us that we do not have to carry everything alone.

A Final Reflection

Sometimes burnout is not a sign of weakness. Sometimes it is a sign that you have been strong, responsible, capable, and carrying a great deal for a very long time. Perhaps the question is not:

"What's wrong with me?" But rather: "What have I been carrying, and for how long? What needs to change?"

And perhaps recovery begins not with doing more, but with allowing yourself permission to receive the support, rest, and care that you would so readily offer to others.

References

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout: A Brief History and How to Prevent It.

World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an occupational phenomenon included in ICD-11.

Overwhelmed by endless meetings, higher expectations, higher workload, low rewards and organizational changes, an employee faces burnout