Are We Really Well?

Looking at wellbeing in Singapore through four pillars.

We talk a lot about wellbeing these days. Eat better. Exercise. Sleep enough. Manage stress. Practise mindfulness. Take a holiday. All of these matter... But I wonder whether we have sometimes reduced wellbeing to another list of things we are supposed to accomplish. Because you can exercise three times a week and still feel emotionally exhausted. You can have a good job and still lie awake worrying about money. You can be financially comfortable and yet feel deeply disconnected from your relationships. You can appear successful and still quietly wonder, Is this really the life I want?

Perhaps wellbeing needs to be looked at more holistically. One useful way of doing this is through four interconnected areas: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. And in Singapore today, I think all four deserve our attention.

1. Physical wellbeing: How is your body carrying your life?

Singapore moves quickly. We work, commute, care for children or ageing parents, answer messages, meet deadlines and squeeze our personal lives into whatever space remains. Although working hours have been gradually declining, employed residents still worked an average of 41.4 hours a week in 2025. Sometimes our bodies tell the story before we do. We become tired. Our shoulders tighten. Sleep becomes disrupted. We stop moving. We eat hurriedly. We tell ourselves we will rest when things settle down.

Except sometimes things never quite settle down. Physical wellbeing isn't only about fitness. It is also asking:

• Am I listening to my body?

• Am I getting enough rest?

• Do I have space to breathe, move and recover?

• Is the way I am living sustainable for my body?

  
  

2. Emotional wellbeing: What are you doing with everything you feel?

We have become much better at talking about mental health. But many people are still carrying enormous emotional loads privately:

• Work stress.

• Relationship difficulties.

• Parenting.

• Ageing parents.

• Grief.

• Loneliness.

• Divorce.

• Career uncertainty.

• Caring responsibilities.

The pressure to appear as though everything is fine. Singapore's National Population Health Survey found that 15.4% of residents reported poor mental health in 2024. Among adults aged 18–29, it was 25.5%, roughly one in four. Encouragingly, willingness to seek help has also increased.

Emotional wellbeing doesn't mean being happy all the time. It means developing the ability to recognise what we feel, understand what may be underneath it, regulate ourselves and communicate our needs without expecting another person to carry everything for us. Sometimes the question isn't: “How do I stop feeling this?” It might be: “What is this feeling trying to tell me?”

3. Mental wellbeing: Am I taking responsibility for the life I am creating?

This is an area of wellbeing that I think we sometimes overlook. Mental wellbeing isn't only about anxiety, depression or stress. It also involves our ability to think, choose, plan, organise, solve problems and take responsibility for our lives. That includes:

• Our finances.

• Our work.

• Our commitments.

• Our homes.

• Our relationships.

• Our boundaries.

• And the decisions we make.

Living in Singapore means navigating very practical realities around housing, food, family responsibilities, education, employment and financial security. Housing and utilities remain the largest expenditure category across household income groups, while food is the second largest.

We cannot control every circumstance around us. Sometimes genuinely difficult things happen to us. But wellbeing also involves asking:

• What is within my control now?

• What choices am I making?

• What am I avoiding?

• What responsibility belongs to me?

• Am I repeatedly expecting somebody else to solve something I could begin addressing myself?

• And when I make a poor decision because all of us will, can I acknowledge it, learn from it and clean up the trail I leave behind?

To me, personal responsibility isn't about harshness or blame. It is about agency. Circumstances may explain why something is difficult. Compassion matters enormously. But compassion and accountability can exist together. We can understand ourselves while still asking: “What can I do differently from here?”

4. Spiritual well-being: What is all of this for?

This may be the pillar we speak about least. Spiritual wellbeing doesn't necessarily mean religion. For some people it will include faith and prayer. For others it may be meaning, values, nature, community, service, creativity or connection with something larger than themselves. It asks different questions:

• What matters to me now?

• What kind of person do I want to be?

• Does the life I am living reflect what I say I value?

• Who am I when I am not performing, producing or achieving?

Sometimes people arrive at therapy because they are anxious or burnt out. But underneath that anxiety is occasionally a much quieter question: “I have spent years building this life. Why doesn't it feel like mine?”. That is also a wellbeing question.

Perhaps wellbeing isn't about doing more. Singapore is very good at teaching us how to move forward.

• Study.

• Work.

• Improve.

• Save.

• Plan.

• Achieve.

• Progress.

There is nothing inherently wrong with any of these things. But wellbeing asks us to occasionally stop measuring our lives only by how much we have accomplished and notice how we are actually living our lives.

• How is my body?

• How am I feeling?

• How am I managing my life and the choices I make?

• What gives my life meaning?

You may discover that three areas feel reasonably steady while one has quietly been neglected. That doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It simply gives you somewhere to begin. And sometimes therapy provides the space to do exactly that, to slow things down enough to notice what is happening, understand the patterns you have been living with and decide what you would like to do differently. So perhaps instead of asking: “Am I doing well?” Try asking: “Which part of my wellbeing needs more of my attention right now?”